By J.P. Hoornstra, AllPuck.com
Today’s TT is straight out of the so-bad-it’s-good file.
What it is, exactly, is somewhat elusive. We believe it’s the music video to a song called “Mario Lemieux” by a band called “Better Tennis.” Problem is, you won’t find any tangible proof that the song or the band exists outside of this page, so take it all with a grain of salt.
Whatever it is — whoever spliced the images, recorded the song, and copied Mario Lemieux’s bio from Wikipedia and pasted it on their Vimeo page to accompany this bland piece of electro-pop — it’s all oddly fascinating.
Here’s a synopsis of what you’re about to see:
Scene 1: Lemieux is presented the Hart Trophy in 1988 by a bespectacled, be-afroed Phil Esposito.
Scene 2: Lemieux scores a goal
Scene 3: A blonde woman with an 80’s perm (who bears a striking resemblance to Lemieux’s current wife) speaks.
Scene 4: Some exterior and interior shots of the Lemieux home, followed by scenes of Mario around the house: Mario playing piano, Mario selecting a bottle of wine from his wine rack, Mario slipping out of the pool, Mario choosing another bottle of wine, Mario sipping some V8.
Scene 5: Lemieux playing hockey, interspersed with clips of fans, the blonde speaking, Mario boating, Mario riding horseback
Scene 6: Two men wearing suits and ties sit down for a meeting.
Scene 7: Mario sinks a putt on a golf course.
Scene 8: Lemieux skates past a camera placed on the ice, on an empty rink.
Sequentially it makes little sense. Yet with a little imagination a loose narrative emerges, the kind that would not seem out of place in a dream. Do you dream about Mario in the 80’s? Would you like to? Prepare to have your mind blown: